personal venting in essay form?

{Enter a seemingly emotionless teenager, stage left, holding her hand to her head and rubbing periodically at her eyes, appearing extremely tired}

This week has been nothing short of awful. I'm sick of my friends thinking it's about them. Quit being so self-centered, none of this is about you-- I've always hated everything all of you do. I am just finally so fed up that I don't even care to leave my thoughts inside of my head like the spineless me did for so long. I've realized that since I moved, I've been a lot less reckless and a lot less confident. I hate that.

I've never been so apathetic in my life. I feel like my life runs in cycles like the washer and dryer. Some days I am on full cycle, going between too many emotions to know what I truly feel. Other days, I just kind of sit in neutral and mind my own. Lately I've had so many tensions building up that I've become completely sick of everything. I'm both mentally and physically sick, and it's getting to me. Everything is getting to me, and I am no longer going to let any of this trivial teenage bullshit bother me.

Enter a father who thinks that he is entitled to everything right and good, even though he is a grade A lazy bastard who does nothing but treat everybody like his inferiors. I called the police on him once before, back in our old house around this time last year. I don't know. Sometimes I feel awful for how clipped I always am with him, but then I realize that he truly deserves it. He says that he isn't as bad as I think he is. The truth is, he's worse. Maybe he doesn't hit me all of the time (and when he does, it is lawful spanking, even though I think it is a shitty thing no matter how you hit your kids.) However, he thinks that he is this great person and anytime he is wrong and you point it out, he yells and yells and acts like you're the one in the wrong and that you are the loud one and really, he is an idiot and I wish I could knock out all of his teeth so he couldn't talk anymore.

Sometimes I wish that I could go back to when I was six, even ten, whenever my father was still the greatest man alive and he only spanked me whenever I threw a major tantrum. Sometimes I wish that he learned from his own family history how not to act once he had a family, but he didn't. Sometimes I wish... I don't know what I wish. I wish that I didn't have to see him all of the time. I wish that I could just disappear. That he could disappear. That I could rewind the clocks and I'd be little again and he wouldn't be so fat and stupid. But even back then he still yelled a lot, and my parents still always fought. They think they're staying together for the kids? My mom's just a spineless person, is what it really is. Am I the only one that realizes that? Probably. It's easier to notice these things whenever you're an outsider in the situation.